Quotes from Quarterbacks

Trying something new today. The other night I sent the following Facebook message to a buddy who's a diehard Detriot Lions fan:

"'I'm not an elite quarterback and I never will be.' - Matthew Stafford, Detroit Lions"

The fake quote got a bunch of laughs and about a dozen likes, and I got thinking: Wouldn't that work for a fantasy column gimmick?

Let's roll it out and see how this goes.

Quotes from Quarterbacks: February 27, 2012

"Everyone's really excited about me heading to Kansas City and uniting with Andy Reid. That guy is a genius when it comes to coaching up QBs, but I think people need to realize that I was a total bum until Jim Harbaugh put me in a cushy situation with a ball-control offense and an elite defense. At the end of the day, I'm still just the poor man's Joe Flacco, minus the rifle arm." - Alex Smith, Kansas City Chiefs

Alex brings up some good points here. He certainly never impressed anyone prior to the Harbaugh era in San Fran, and even then, Crazy Al was never fantasy-starter material. Never the type of guy to march the team back from a deficit. So even though Andy Reid has a gift for bringing out the best in QBs (McNabb and Garcia instantly come to mind), Alex Smith should not be high on your draft boards come August. Is he worth a look as a backup? Yeah, kinda. A lot depends on the future of Dwayne Bowe and the rest of the receiving corps in KC. Steve Breston is gonzo, so if you can live with the idea of you fantasy QB leaning on Jonathan Baldwin, hey, reach for Crazy Al in the 10th or 11th round.

"I just won a Super Bowl and an SB MVP to go along with it, but even I wouldn't draft myself above the 8th round in fantasy. Not when I'm costing the team loads of money, my center just retired, and my best WR is threatening to retire if he doesn't get a good deal." - Joe Flacco, Baltimore Ravens

Joe has a lot of upcoming changes on his mind. Obviously, the biggest issue here is his upcoming contract and how much it'll cost the Ravens, who also need to resign Anquan Boldin if they want that passing game to look anything like it did during their playoff run. What Joe didn't mention is that aside from his skull-shattering playoff run that included a 11:0 TD-to-INT ratio, he's been hot and cold throughout his whole career. In 2012 alone, he had six games with single-digit FPs. That's not the type of QB I'd want to spend a 5th round pick on (you watch, people will be reaching in the 5th for Joe Flacco, come August).

"I had the lowest completion percentage of any QB last year, and now my team's new OC is shifting to a more run-oriented system. Not only that, he's shortening up my passing routes, and to be honest, I'm starting to think my rookie year performance was a fluke." - Andrew Luck, Indianapolis Colts

Andrew is onto something. Tebow may bear all the groundball jokes, but there's no denying that Luck sucks at completing passes. His 54.1% completion percentage was the 2nd worst among starting QBs last season (ahead of only my boy, Chad Henne). And yes, they did just get a new OC in Pep Hamilton, who has promised more of a West Coast offense with a heavier emphasis on the running game. So gone will be the days on Luck chucking downfield all the time. Luck obviously still has plenty of passing options, but if you're banking on him having a repeat of his rookie year, stop. Also one more thing: Luck had a grand total of 5 rushing TDs last season. That's 30 fantasy points. Think he'll get five again? Me neither.

Things Get Uglier in J-Ville

"Give it some time" is what friends, family, sports media, and the Jaguars PR folks told me about the abominable new logo:

No thanks. Go back to the bag of Cheetos you came from.

Well, it's been a week, and I still can't look at the new Jaguars logo without feeling ashamed, confused, and momentarily queasy. There's so much to not like about this ugly slab of clipart, but for starters, the new logo looks thin and emaciated, like the anorexic Hollywood skank version (a tribute to the Jags-to-LA rumors, perhaps?) of the old logo. What does that say about the team? That they're starving themselves of wins? That they want to send the same message that Gabbert's goldie locks sent back in 2011? I could speculate all day, but if you're going to chance a football logo that has stood for nearly twenty years, make it sleeker or meatier or angrier. Don't give us something that belongs on a bag of Cheetos, or worse, a WNBA uniform. 

The Jags should've considered previous logo switches that rocked, like Tampa's. The original Bucs logo looked like a 70s pornstar with a lifetime tan salon membership, but in the late 90s Tampa swapped it for a shredded pirate flag with a skull and crossing cutlasses. The message: this is a football  team, and we're gonna look like one. If only the Jags held that same mentality before hiring Disney artists to ink their new symbol.

I'm getting really picky here, but the spots on the new logo aren't even Jaguar spots. Look it up if you don't believe me, but the defining marks of a Jaguars follow a square-or-circular pattern--they are not simply dots or splotches. What we have here with the new logo are indistinct spots, and this logo could work for the Los Angeles Leopards or the California Cheetahs if things come to that.

And that's what bothers me the most about this new logo: It's another strike on the ever-growing  list of mistakes that the Jags seem to make in preparation for relocation. And get this--it's been a week since the logo was introduced, and it's not even the most recent blunder by the boys in blue-green. Earlier this week Jags GM David Caldwell said he would be giving Blaine Gabbert one more chance to compete for the starting job. Unless he's competing with Ryan Leaf, it shouldn't be much of a competition, but for whatever reason the Jags front office can't get enough of Blaine Gabbert. Despite his 4-20 record as a starter, the front office does nothing but put faith in this guy like a todder with Santa Claus.The entire sports world from ESPN experts to casual fans knows that Gabbert is a total bum, yet the Jags are more than happy to let him toss one-yard passes for another year? 

Make it stop. 

Just let Chad Henne make the 2013 season interesting until we take a QB with our first round pick in 2014. 

2013: The Year of the Early-Round QB?

After Colin Kaepernick finished detonating nukes all over Green Bay's defense on Saturday night, I got thinking: Is Kaep a 2nd round QB next season? In standard leagues he never dipped below 14 points in a game he started this season. If 14 is your floor for a fantasy QB, you're not complaining--especially if he posts the occasional 30 or 40+ game like he did in Green Bay the other night.

So where does that put us for top Fantasy QBs next season? Obviously, you have Rodgers, Brees, and Brady as your gold, silver, and bronze, with Cam Newton not too far behind. Those four should almost certainly be off the board by the end of Round 1. Round 2 could mark the departure of Peyton Manning, Matt Ryan, and (if he undergoes a miraculous recovery) Bob Griffin The Third. Then... I say you jump on Kaepernick. Consistency, rushing yards, higher-scoring offense, what's not to love?

Now let's say the first two rounds of your 2013 draft (just 8 months away, kids!) mark the departure of 7 or 8 signal callers. If you go RB-RB or RB-WR and let the rest of your league lose it's mind over the QB position (can't you already picture one of your buddies reaching for injury-prone Matthew Stafford in the 3rd round?), you could have a solid RB-RB-RB-WR-WR lineup by Round 6. Then pick up someone like Eli Manning or Andy Dalton after the dust settles.

Trust me, this is a great year to wait on a QB. Now here's a way-too-early draft guide for the early rounds:

Round 1: Elite RB (Peterson, Foster, Doug Martin, Lynch) or Calvin Johnson
Round 2: MJD (he's had a year off; he'll be fresh and ready to carry the Jags on his back, AP-lite style), Brandon Marshall, C.J. Spiller, A.J. Green, Dez Bryant
Rounds 3-5: Michael Crabtree, Jimmy Graham, Victor Cruz, Eric Decker, Randall Cobb